From: L. R. Willis
One of you idiots was so sick with a cold last week he could hardly speak (not that bad a development for us listeners, doncha' know), so I thought I'd send you a sure fire cold remedy: The Two Hat Treatment.
Here's what you do: Get ready for bed. Hang a hat on a post or a chair where you can see it at the foot of the bed. Go to the liquor cabinet and get a bottle of whiskey (or vodka or whatever). Climb into bed and drink the whiskey until you see two hats. Then go to sleep.