Shakespearean Car Reviews

The fact is, car reviews are getting a little boring these days. So, this week on Car Talk, we started wondering... what if Shakespeare wrote car reviews?! Here are our suggestions of what the Bard might have opined:

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your legs. I need to push this damn Hyundai Accent again.

Out, damn'd spot! Unless you order the optional pet package with your Honda Element.

What's in a name? That which we call a Volkswagen Touareg by any other name... would sound a hell of a lot better.

Aveo, Aveo... wherefore art thou rear leg room, Aveo?

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the ambient lighting package on the new Ford Focus, and Juliet can pick from any of seven colors to match her mood.

Blow, blow, thou winter wind... and by the time I figure out the iDrive's heater controls, it'll be spring.

And, finally...

O, what men dare do! They put not twenty-one cup holders in the Cadillac Escalade, but twenty two!

Got any more suggestions for Shakespearean-inspired reviews? We'd love to hear them!