From: Various Car Talk Listeners
If he says: can I buy you a drink?
You say: actually, I'd rather have the money.
If he says: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
You say: I'm a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.
If he says: didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
You say: must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
If he says: go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
You say: okay, get out.
If he says: I think I could make you very happy.
You say: why? Are you leaving?
If he says: will you go out with me this Saturday?
You say: sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.