A fraud in an ascot

Sep 12, 2005

RAY: A well-dressed gentleman enters a bank, approaches a teller and begins to tell his tale of woe. He says, "Pardon me, Madam, I hope you can help me. You see, I'm an English professor at Northwestern University and I am a visitor to your fair city, and I find myself in need of someone's help. I'm here visiting with my wife and my two daughters and I have no money with me, because my wife and my oldest daughter have gone out shopping this morning and taken my wallet, which contained my cash and credit cards --"
TOM: And ID.
RAY: "And identification, of course. They left me alone with the other daughter who has taken ill and I must buy her some medication, but I have no money. If you would be kind enough to cash a check for me for $50, that would be a great help to me and my daughter."
TOM: Yes.
RAY: The teller looks up and down. He's well dressed, distinguished looking, obviously quite articulate.
TOM: Little bit of a British accent.
RAY: Definitely. An English professor from Northwestern University. Pedantic, pretentious.
TOM: Snob!
RAY: Everything that you would expect a college professor to be, and he's wearing an ascot, of course. The teller looks at him and says, "I won't be able to help you, sir, because you are a fraud and a liar."
TOM: Ooh!
RAY: And he says, "Pardon me?" But she was absolutely correct. What was it that tipped the teller off?
RAY: If you look carefully you will see that the clue is in the phrase "my wife has gone shopping with my oldest daughter." You see he has only two daughters and an English professor would hardly make the mistake of saying oldest -- you'd have to have three or more.

TOM: Yes.

RAY: Having only two, she would be the older daughter. And, of course, this teller knew that he could not have been an English professor from Northwestern or from any place...

TOM: So she said, "Get the heck out of here!"

RAY: Get out you bum! And our winner this week is...?

TOM: Susan Edwards from Helena, Montana. Montana? We picked a winner from Montana?

RAY: No, we didn't. It's random.

TOM: Just to prove that it's random.

RAY: Right.

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