Dr. Seuss, eat your heart out.

Dear Car Talk

Dear Car Talk | May 01, 1992

Dear Tom and Ray:

If you guys weren't comedians,
I wouldn't write,
On the other hand,
You appear to be very bright,
Especially about cars,
And each and every trouble,
So here is a question which,
Please, answer on the double!

I've always shifted my automatic
Into Neutral gear
While waiting at a red light,
Or at the crossing of a deer.
No Transmission problems ,
In over a million miles of driving,
Yet, now I'm told I don't know,
If I'm going or arriving.
That, except for long stops,
the car should stay in Drive,
That is, if I want my car,
To stay healthy and survive.

I contend to have a car in gear,
And then keep it from moving.
By having a foot on the brake,
Is foolish, and not behooving.

I have always sold my cars,
With at least 130 thousands miles,
Each buyer has been grateful,
And full of contented smiles,
That they were getting a car,
So beautifully maintained,
And, that for a long time,
It could still be retained.

You now have all the facts!
What is your reply?
Please answer promptly;
Don't make me wait and sigh!


TOM: Your question to us Lou,
Is oh so very clever,
But if you want some good advice,
Keep your mitts off that stinkin' lever.

RAY: You say you've had no trouble,
With transmissions up til now.
But we hate to burst your bubble,
So please don't have a cow.

TOM: The tranny aint the place,
Where all the trouble starts,
It's the CVs and the U-joints, and
The other drive train parts.

RAY: So when you find it's time to tow,
Don't let it get your goat,
That we're using all your hard earned dough,
To make payments on our boat.

P.S. Dr. Seuss, eat your heart out.

Get the Car Talk Newsletter

Got a question about your car?

Ask Someone Who Owns One