What To Expect When Apple Makes A Car

Craig Fitzgerald

Craig Fitzgerald | Feb 25, 2015

By now, you've probably heard that Apple has been poaching automotive battery engineers from firms like Waltham, Massachusetts-based A123, and it's hired an executive from Mercedes-Benz. That, and the recent news that Google is hard at work on its own car, is fueling speculation that Apple is going to build its own automobile. We indulged in some idle speculation here at Car Talk Plaza and came up with these ideas about what you can expect from your first Apple Car:

To charge it, you'll need a Lightning Cable that won't fit iCar 2.

While the car is advanced, Apple still hasn't perfected the technique of making wire, so the charging cable will look like it's 30 years old in a month, and a new one will cost $33,743.

No matter how insignificant the update, you'll wait in a line of 346 hipsters at midnight to get the next version.

 

Two days later, you'll be able to buy it at Walmart.

Its onboard navigation system is powered by Apple Maps and Siri, which is handy if you need to get from your current location to another dimension.

If you drive it in the rain, you'll need to park it overnight in a shipping container full of uncooked rice.

The windshield will be smashed.

The fuel gauge will display 30 percent capacity, and the iCar will shut off immediately.

You can play any song you want on the radio, as long as it's U2.

iCar 6 will be longer. LOOOOONGER.

To get it serviced, you'll simply make an appointment six days in advance, show up 20 minutes before the appointed time and then wait two hours.


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